Mathematics of Dating

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to become a lot more pragmatic about my dating.  Partially this is because I’m still (slightly) hopeful in general and I’ve noticed increasing difficulty having a meaningful relationship in Boston.  So in a few of my travels I’ve decided to catalogue the number of girls “who I’d hit” to just work out if I was even seeing women I’m interested in.  I think it’s a fair starting metric because if you don’t feel like you want to sleep with someone, what’s the point of having a relationship and children and family.  It would suck for them!

NYC by day Number of I'd hit that
Mon 4
Tue 11
Wed 12
Thurs 13
Fri 17
Sat 25
Sun 22

For a total of… 104 in a single week!  And it’s cold out!  (middle of February)

Now in Boston:

Boston by day Number of I'd hit that
Mon 1
Tue 2
Wed 1
Thurs 1
Fri 1
Sat 1
Sun 1

9 in 1 week.

Now lets look at the dating math. If 100% of the girls I ask out say “yes” (usual), then I can count on the following rates:

  1. 50% of the girls will arrange the date, then bail for no apparent reason later, via text message or just not show up like the douchebags they are.
  2. 80% of those who show up still have boyfriends.


Lets suppose that in dating I would like to add 2 girls per week as new candidates, and (re)-see 2 girls from prior weeks as continuing candidates who made the first cut.  Then I would be seeing 4 girls every week.  From past experience, that’s doable.  5 is right at the line where I start to forget one girl’s details or start to mix them up.  Since that’s a confounding element that would ruin otherwise-ly good candidates, lets keep the math tractable.

Just focusing on the two new girls per week, we can use the above statistics to conclude something.  Setting aside the boyfriend statistic #2, if only 50% of the girls I ask out actually show up, then I have to ask out 4 girls per week if I want to see 2 new faces per week. That means that in Boston, I have to ask out 4 out of every 9 “hot” girls I see, on the spot.  Almost 50%.  That doesn’t provide me much flexibility with reaction time or prior engagements.

Now going a step further, if 80% of those who show up will still have a boyfriend, then only 1 out of every 5 new girls can become a week-2 candidate.  Clearly there’s a problem, as only 2 new girls are introduced every week.  This tells us that with a legitimate 2 carry-forward, that 10 girls have to arrange dates with me (well above my memory capacity), and based upon the #1 50% conversion, that I have to ask out 20 girls per week.  I don’t even see 20 girls I’m interested in in Boston per week.

See, the math just doesn’t work out!  That’s why I’m not so excited about dating in Boston.